So this hyper-intelligent monkey, an over-muscled video game addict and a buxom, electronically-savvy arcade owner walk into a bar…

Marlowe (“#17”) (4):
A perfectly normal macaque/ capuchin/ chimpanzee/ whatever-else genetic hybrid who was force-fed intellihancing drugs and trained to type Shakespeare at The Monkey Project. Using his hyper-intelligent grasp of air ducts, Marlowe escaped and is now in charge of special projects and internet sales at Monkey Shines Arcade and Café. Felicia has outfitted him with a wrist-worn text/shorthand to speech device that he uses to communicate with those he calls friends. While at a computer keyboard, he finds it easier to use the computer to communicate through the speaker. He also knows sign language.

favorite drink: Banana Daquiris
favorite beer: Foster’s Lager
First appearance

Felicia Grey (31):
Owner of Monkey Shines Arcade and Café. Felicia has a degree in electrical engineering. Since inheriting her grandfather’s arcade she attempted to make a go of keeping it running but for the most part made her living refurbishing old arcade machines, at least until Marlowe showed up.

favorite drink: Grey Goose martini
favorite beer: Newcastle Brown Ale
First appearance

Paul (29):
The seemingly dim-witted roommate of Felicia, Paul works as a bar bouncer at The Lazy Mallard. An avid classic arcade game enthusiast, he takes advantage of his living arrangement in the apartment above the arcade while doing odd-jobs around the arcade to defray the rent. Besides some light blue pajamas his entire wardrobe seems to consist of blue jeans and black t-shirts. Paul’s surprising knowledge of sign language allowed him understand Marlowe’s request for sanctuary.

favorite drink: Shiner Bock
favorite beer: Shiner Bock
First appearance

Declan (“Decky”) (34):
Proprietor of and primary bartender at The Lazy Mallard. A long-time friend of Felicia and Paul, he usually gets Felicia her drinks for free, but encourages her to have men buy them for her. It helps the bottom line.

favorite drink: Tanqueray gin and tonic
favorite beer: Guinness draught
First Appearance

The Monkey Project:
As it is known to its employees (and subjects), Primate Research Institute (PRI) sits on the outskirts of town. While ostensibly a respectable scientific operation, the recent fiasco involving the arcade may have exposed a less than ethical bent to its operations.

The Arcade:
Grey’s Game Emporium was recently renamed and re-opened as Monkey Shines Arcade and Café after a thuggish monkey retrieval attempt left it busted up and worse for the wear, but at the center of local media attention. Taking advantage of this, Felicia wisely used the insurance money and a surpisingly rapid legal settlement from the CDC and PRI from the fiasco to re-image the place as an arcade/internet cafe.

The Bar:
The Lazy Mallard Bar sits a couple blocks down the street from Monkey Shines Arcade which is a good thing for Felicia, Paul and Marlowe since it makes it easy for them to walk home. The fact that Felicia noticed the space opening up down the street and knew Decky was looking for a spot for his bar has much to do with the convenience of the location.

Dr. Drake (“Skip”) (26):
A biochemist for PRI, Skip is also a regular customer at The Lazy Mallard. Due to the secretive nature of PRI, his friends and family until recently thought he was a small animal vet since that what his last degree was in. A wünderkind, he graduated college at 18 and holds 3 doctorates: one in biochemistry, one in behavioral psychology, and one in veterinary medicine. He loves 90’s alt rock, particularly geek rock.

favorite drink: Blaster Shot (Red Bull and Jägermeister)
favorite beer: Boulevard Wheat Ale
First appearance, feet only
Second appearance

Dr. Woodson (35):
Another former veterinarian for PRI, in charge of subject health and welfare. Perhaps once over-zealous in his pursuit of Marlowe, Woodson has gone back his family ranch and restarted his large animal veterinary practice. As well as being a veterinarian, Woodson also holds a doctorate in developmental psychology. While it could be said that Woodson is a little bit country, it would be even truer to say that little bit is engulfed by a crap-ton of country.

favorite drink: Jack Daniels, neat
favorite beer: Coors Light

Kate, Seth and Zach (all 15):
Once the only regular customers at Monkey Shines due to Seth’s strange love of coin-op games in the age of console gaming. Felicia has recruited them to work the café portion of Monkey Shines, for while monkeys serving people food and drink is a good idea in theory, it didn’t work out in practice.

Gwynny (“#3”), Sickboy(“#4”), Porkins (“#6”), Bacon (“#5”), and Lizzie (“#7”) (varies, 3-6)

On a stop-over at PRI with Skip to obtain damning records he had been gathering against PRI, Felicia took it upon herself to free five more of Marlowe’s fellow test subjects. They are now harbored at the arcade under the supervision of Felicia, Paul and Skip. Felicia has outfitted them with wrist-communicators which most can use as well as, if not better than, Marlowe. All of the PRI monkeys have abnormally pronounced musculature/swelling in their calfs and forearms, but like normal monkeys do not have the mouth structure to articulate speech.